everything meant something+ by Purpl3Sky, literature
Literature
everything meant something+
four months ago i couldn't imagine
me without you
you were my best friend,
my muse; the excitement filling
my life and
you were everything
and you were great
and we were great, too
but baby,
you tied me down with forever's
i knew you couldn't keep
and i won't lie to you:
sometimes i miss you;
crave you, even,
and yes, i regret our fucked up end
and you treat me with silence,
and say you don't care,
and if sorry means nothing-
what the fuck do you want me to say?
coughing breaks my ribs,
if you would call paper bags stretched over sticks
ribs.
when i look in the mirror
it seems my eyes are getting bigger,
like they're trying to hold
all of the sadness,
draining the rest of my body
and making me weak.
i miss you
i want you
i need you
i can't sleep,
i hate this 2 am bullshit
and how empty this bed is.
or maybe i don't.
what if i wanted to break. by Purpl3Sky, literature
Literature
what if i wanted to break.
fuck, let's shove excuses
back down our throats
let's get intense:
tell me that you
love me and that
you'll never let me go
i wish i could fall
asleep with you every
night and wake up
with your breath on
my neck; you make
me so fuckin' complete
sex with you is so
amazing: crazy and intense;
sexy and electric-
you get me: you're always
there to pick me up
and make everything okay
you are so important
to me, but sometimes
i love too much, too fast
but i'm really falling
for you, fall for me too?
just wrap me up in a dream with you.
i think there are two ways to
see the world:
you can either choose to see
all of the lies and sadness,
or you can black it all out
and pretend everything`s okay
what is your definition of love?
a kiss on the cheek or a
simple i love you under sheets;
falling in love, all over again
in the dark and pouring rain:
your eyes give you away
eye contact and fights have
always scared me,
the type of fight where
no matter what you say,
you`ll still be where you were-
spinning in circles until you fall down
some nights i lay awake
trying to unwind my tangled-up
heart, realizing all i have
left of him are memories
sneaking past
saturday: started with holding
hands, close friends (you know)
apartment hallways and
a long wait in cold rain
(he had to keep me warn, so
i couldn't help but kiss him-
on the cheek, of course)
tinted windows, pay up
fun is served dealer style
kiss: a static-filled hug
greeted me outside-
gentle hands moving forward,
sexy grey-green
i-want-all-of-you eyes
meet my blue eyes, unsure-
(but who could resist what you've
been craving for so long?)
i feel in love right then
night: winding down with
clinky bottles, flickering candles,
and his steady body guiding
me down impossible stairs-
"i won't drink so i can take care of y
he found his way under
my blue-jeans
kisses send desire
a bit farther south
i wanted all of him,
pulling him
closer and higher-
the highest we could
music biting through his back-
sinking in:
rhythm, plus static
ripping through my ears
drugs mind-fucking us both
awesome trips
leaving lasting scars
we'll worry 'bout later
sex: easy to smudge feelings
on bare-skin-
Meant to be
A simple, beautiful ray of sunlight awakens me
for once, I smile, thinking of you
the past month comes crashing into my mind
and I fell left behind
I always knew we were meant to be
I thought it would be just you and me
but it didn't work out that way,
now im alone here, and I could of stayed
swaying away on my childhood swing
feeling as if im on angels wings,
memories of you running through my head
im just wishing to be dead
im sorry for all I've put you through
all the sleepless nights, and tears cried
and still, I know I will never be defied,
you will always be on my side
you loved me for me,
you saw what ot
I stare at a photo of you,
your eyes are so blue and true.
its all building up inside,
these feelins are so hard to hide.
I lay on my rooftop and stare at the sky,
and I pretend you're sitting nearby.
I just want to scream out and cry,
I feel im about to fucking die.
I am breaking, faking smiles all day,
just take me to my casket and carry me away.
tears turn to red, running down my arm,
even though, I shouldnt cause anymore harm.
I trace over my wounds,
feeling so consumed.
all of this pain,
has left a permanent stain.
I wish to awake,
so I can escape
from this dream;
to get out and scream!
nothing is what it appears,
e
I'm laying down, feeling so fake
this, by far, was my biggest mistake
my whole body shakes, quivering
cold and alone, shivering
a little voice inside my head instructs
"It's time to cut you little slut."
I hang my head, ashamed,
feeling once again, I've been tamed
the razor digs deep into my wrist,
I remember the first time we kissed
my arm is like an open flask,
I remember, with you, I wore no mask
I am broken,
my seams are ripped open
all of this pain,
is driving me insane
images of death and suicide
in my mind, confide
it didn't mean to be this way,
and I should of stayed.
I feel so good,
so nice inside
I feel as if I have nothing
to worry about, nothing to hide
I'm laughing uncontrollably,
I don't even know what's so funny.
you whisper in my ear,
"Are you willing, honey?"
I feel so amazing,
so high inside
I see no obstacles,
I love this ride
I can't see straight,
my world is spinning;
I can't stand straight,
my ears are pounding.
I watch you drink
from your can of beer
I'm so out of it,
and your sitting so near
People sometimes wonder
Why so many cuts?
I am falling over and under,
They just call me a slut.
Cant you see I'm trying
to find some meaning in life.
Cant you tell I'm crying?
my heart, cold as ice
I am silently screaming,
trying to hide.
Wishing I was dreaming,
it is all building up inside.
I used to force a smile,
inside I am breaking.
Smiles now, impossible
my life, you are all slowly taking.
I'll drink some more beer
and smoke more weed
so your voice, I can hear,
its just what I need
I try and try
then fall, failing once again
you are never satisfied
it seems I will never win.
I want to cut my throat,
and slit my
-A Life Once Lost -
I just wanted to say
a few words today
to one of my dear friends
who will be with me 'till the end.
you have always been there for me,
I know you will forever be.
you noticed when I started to change,
and take a trip down the wrong lane.
you cared when I started smoking cigarettes,
and a little more than that.
I saw great concern in your face,
when slashing my wrists became my daily pace.
I thought I was a freak,
always feeling so weak.
I told you about my suicidal dream, I wanted to die,
you were so god damn worried, you might of cried.
I was just a lost teen,
with a suicidal dream,
but you helped me to
She tears at his skin,
as soft as silk
scratches out his eyes,
as white as milk.
Stabbing him in the chest,
hoping he'll feel lots of pain
blood pours over the white floor,
leaving a permanent stain.
She cuts his wrists,
so he could feel her pain
all of the misery he's caused,
he should be ashamed.
She starts to eat,
and looks into his cold eyes,
remembering all the good times,
as he slowly dies.
He chokes out a few last words,
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean any of it.."
it was too late for apologies now
anyways, she was sick of his shit.
She feels his hand,
cold as ice.
dreaming becomes reality,
she took his life.
I sit in my room,
in all its gloom.
silently screaming,
if it even has a meaning.
Tearing out my hair,
without a care.
all my sane thoughts,
are twisted into knots.
I wish for a river of red;
I'm waiting to be bled.
this is my own personal hell,
I WANT to stay and dwell.
In my mind it's raining,
my surroundings are fading.
I wish to be free;
to be anyone but me.
I carved your name into my skin,
_ _ _ _ _, with a really sharp pin.
forever lasted less than a year,
me without you, this is what I feared.
I wish to fall asleep,
and end this nightmare.
I gave my entire heart away,
I haven't gotten it back to this day.
I fin
Under the oak tree they kissed
and her sweater was torn violently,
in a craving to be something else,
something other than a human and
somehow, a kiss could do that; a kiss
could make them taste like fresh bees wax
and morning dreams. A kiss could make the
stars feel like sapphires in their palms,
if only they could open their eyes
and catch them. Pipe dreams, & dragon wings.
Despite herself, she stared at the sky,
stuck out her tongue to taste
the universe.
the same, but different.
and life is
a little crazysexyinsane.
and love is
so right,
right now.
and i'm lovin' every single minute of this train wreck of a life.
Mood: :relaxed: and pretty damn sober.
Listening to: Tetris Remix - DJ Scribbles
Reading: The Stand - Stephen King
brain damage..it's brain damage..i got brain damage..it's brain damage..it's probably brain damage..it's brain damage..brain damage..i got brain damage..
i haven't written a journal in a while. i guess nothing really exciting has been happening this past month.
party party party..every damn day. it's pretty fucking crazy, i really need to start getting more sleep and start eating right again. i just went camping with frank and some friends, and that was really great, but my back and head really hurt now.
i really haven'
Mood: Tiredead
Listening to: Korn - Twist
i was just looking at my page and noticed i haven't written a journal since april! it's not because nothing exciting has been happening, i just don't find the time anymore, which kind of makes me sad. i used to be on deviantART all the time.
sooo updates:
• i got out of school on wednesday. i am now officially a freshman, gosh i'm so young compared to the people i hang out with... *shakes head*
• i went to court on may 8th (& dressed nice) and the judge let me off on the ticket and gave me 20 hours of community service. i better start that soon..
• my relationship with frank i
Spread the DA love around! (you can copy and paste this message on their userpage!)
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Send This To All Your Friends, And Me If I Am 1. If You Get 7 Back You Are Loved!
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Hey..i haven't been on here in forever, considering i have over 2,000 deviations to catch up on. :C but idk i got a job and school and i never really find the time nemore :0